The following is a copy of my post on a forum that was discussing same sex-marriage. Yup it was on a knitting site, yup knitter discuss things other than knitting, yup we have brains that hold information other than yarn type or needle size. :-)
It's written stream of conscious, so if there are typos/grammatical errors so be it.
Marriage in terms of the government's view is a contract between two people. In the church you are basically entering into a contract as a couple with God.
Now, if getting married in front of a judge is basically affirming to the government that these/those/any two people are entering into a contract (financially, able to make medical decisions, regarding tax status, and the many other legal things that go along with marriage), how can the government deny two consenting adults the right to enter into a contract?
I think that there are two different sides to this argument.
In the secular world, the government should not be able to say "It's because you two have the same danglely bits...that's why you can't enter into a contract with one another" or "It's that both of you lack danglely bits that you can't enter into a contract with one another".....hmmmmmm?!? WHAT?!? In the US at least the separation of church and state should ensure that marriage/civil unions/what ever people call it to make themselves comfortable (thought the definition be the same) be equal across the board.
In the religious world, since that is the domain of the religion, the "head" of that particular church, etc. Let that be up to them. If a church doesn't want to allow a couple to contract/declare their love to/with God, then so be it. That is their right. I don't understand it, because in the end you and your partner's relationship (or lack of) with God is your own. I don't need to have a priest at my dinner table to say grace and give thanks. I don't have to have my priest in my bedroom/car/kitchen/bathroom/grocery shopping with me in order to pray. Church is my outward experience of faith it's how I choose to express my spirituality. But ultimately my relationship and my partner's relationship with God and how our relationship is accepted by God....well that is our own.
Yup it'd be nice to have Christian religions actually "practice what they preach", but not all do. Just as not all other religions do the same. Just like our constitution/Bill of Rights have a lot of pretty wording but have not always been followed or put into practice.
I had this argument/discussion with a friend who is staunchly against same sex marriage. She came to the conclusion over many discussions that she in fact had a religious problem, and not a secular problem.